Things Japanese - "Weddings" (Part 2)

Technically I have attended a Japanese wedding before, but just as one of the observers for my Japanese teacher's traditional-style ceremony, last May. However, this time, I was invited to my friend's wedding (first wedding in "Friends" category), ceremony and reception. Both the bride and the groom were Japanese people who I met two years ago in Yamaguchi Prefecture when I visited my friend from college years. They have been extremely friendly to me ever since and we managed to meet up whenever I had school breaks.

I received a formal invitation in mid-February, but knew about the wedding a few months before it took place. Since it was my first wedding invitation addressed to me for a Japanese wedding, I asked my Japanese teacher, who had attended a few weddings herself, to help me on what I should do to attend the wedding. First, she told me to cross out all the honorific headings that were addressed to me on the replying postcard. Then, she told me that the amount of money in the Goshugi for the reception is usually between 20000 yen to 30000 yen. The notes have to be an odd number symbolizing undividable/breakable, so if the Goshugi is 20000 yen, it will have to be given in 10000 yen note and two 5000 yen notes. These notes have be to brand new. Thanks to my teacher, I got it all covered and all I had to do was to wait for the wedding day to come.

Although the wedding was on Sunday April 13th, 2003, I went a day early to Yamaguchi Prefecture and met up with the couple for lunch. During lunch another friend of mine was discussing the entertainment part of the reception that he was helping them on and they all seemed very tired. The bride told me that her mother asked her whether they were having a wedding or a Bunkasai (Culture Fair for school). For some reason, I felt something fishy was going on, but they would not spill out the beans and just said I would find out on the wedding day.

Finally the wedding day - my friend and I arrived at the hotel where the wedding took place. There were lots of people dressed up formally waiting for the ceremony, though some of them were for different wedding parties. Since some of my friends were receptionists, I stayed and helped out a bit. At the reception counter, all the guests had to give the Goshugi to the receptionists and sign their name on the guestbook. The receptionists would then give the guests a pamphlet of the reception's seating and a free drink coupon as they waited for the ceremony. When it was time for the ceremony, all of us went to the top of the hotel where the chapel was located. When the groom entered the chapel, we could see that he was very nervous because his face showed a seriousness that we'd never seen in him before. Finally, the bride, who was escorted by her father, entered the chapel. The whole wedding ceremony was very simple and solemn, but with lots of flashings from normal cameras, digital cameras, and even cellular phones that have small cameras built into them.

After the ceremony, the newlywed and their parents waited at the entrance of the reception room to greet their guests as they entered. All of us went to our assigned seat and found a huge gift bag with numerous Oiwai items (showing their gratitude to guests who came to the wedding) to take home. The reception began with a brief introduction of the happy couple along with slide show that they put togther for the wedding. It was interesting to see pictures of them when they were kids and with friends. After the slide show, the couple's colleagues made speeches to honor them, we drank a toast and then the banquet began.

We were served with a variety of dishes ranging from Japanese to French cuisine. I started with a dish of sashimi that had a very nice taste and my friend told me that it was fugu (blowfish), very famous in Yamaguchi Prefecture and often used as 'omiyage'. I had always wanted to try fugu and imagined how I would react when I had the chance. Would I be afraid or excited? In fact, I just ate it like any fish you can find in a supermarket. The rest of the banquet went on well, we all just kept eating and drinking. During the banquet, a few guests sang and the groom played the bass along with the band. The most entertaining part of the reception was the skit that the newlyweds did for the reception and a cross dressing duet by the two. It was amazing to see how much effort they put into the wedding.

Towards the end of the reception, they light a candle on each guests table and the bride read her letter to thank her parents. The wedding was extremely heartwarming. All the girls picked the flowers that were decorated for the reception when they left - I guess this was instead of throwing a bouquet. The newlyweds and their parents waited at the entrance of the reception room to thank their guests as they exited.

Because I had to catch a train back to Okazaki, I was not able to attend the Nijikai and even the Sanjikai . These are parties that take place after the wedding has finished where the couple get to hang out with their friends since they could not really have a good chat with their guests during the whole reception. I heard that those who went had a great time and they did not get home until three in the morning!

Patty Lo.

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